Prov 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. (NKJV)
Emotions often run high in the home. Being in the same house as other people will eventually breed conflict, especially when those people are kids. Whether its a sibling rivalry or an “I didn’t get my way” fit, you’ve got to grab their string and pull them back to earth.
When emotions are running hot, good things rarely happen. When they yell, if you yell louder, it will just make things worse. When they push, if you push harder you may be able to defeat them because you’re bigger, but they will distance themselves or become defeated.
Defeated children learn to hide their real thoughts and feelings. They sometimes become discouraged because they don’t see a higher reason for living than getting my way. Often, they will model your behavior and bully the weaker people around them. Or defeated children may become people pleasers. When defeated children live to please you, they learn to focus on the most powerful person in sight. The outward submission might work well in your home, but they will struggle when they leave.
Your first step when emotions are high has got to be to bring them down. If you can’t confront them calmly, then take a minute and compose yourself so you can be a positive influence. Speak to them in a respectful tone and require them to do the same. Listen to what they have to say so you can find out how to help them.
You need to confront the wrong thinking and actions of your child. Don’t be afraid to be direct. They might be held hostage by their emotions, so you need to help free them. Confront their wrong thinking and emotions by telling them the truth about the way they think and feel. Show them how they are being selfish. Show them the bigger picture that they are missing. If they can see it and choose to do right you have truly one the battle! If they still want to do wrong, inform them of the consequences for doing wrong and let them choose what way they want to go. Even if you have to discipline, they will be able to see its about their choices and not your mood.